nrsyu writes :)

The blue sky has been my source of comfort.  Darkness is my closest friend now.  I simply want to breath normally. Everything in my life doesn't make sense.  With all my running around, never ending tasks, toxic people.   I feel so stressed running through this burden tasks which only make me crazy for mumbling   and even somehow.. crying..  when everything aren't going as well as i expected, it will ruin all my day. I cough all day long, every day. My throat feels so itchy and it’s really torture. When I feel quite better and want to start working on my burden tasks, my head stuffed and I started to sweat. I hope I can do all the good work, completing the task with my best ability. But not everything went smoothly lately. Not enough sleep makes me feel dizzy and light-headed. Hard up the existed stress on my head, my poor health and suffering mental condition. I hope to become healthier soon.. and going back to my work.

Set an intention for the day or even for the week can create a positive focus for the day and for weekend as well. Setting a daily or weekly intention helps break the automatic negative response to a positive and beautiful way of living. I would like to suggest "joyful tidying" as today's intention.  My house is a mess, guess what it took 5 days to tidy everything up since i came home for semester break. I'm dedicating this sem break to my hobbies and keeping my home tidy! I did not intend to qada' tidur all days in this semester break. Cleaning the house is my priority and set in my to-do-list.  Cleanliness is discipline and the state of my home impacts my feelings and thoughts.  I start with my room first, I hang my coats up, I put my shoes and  my clothes away. Then,  I keep the kitchen and house clean ready for the next day, or next meal. I get things done in an orderly and efficient way.  I create routines for myself that I follow. I'm someone wh

Honestly, I don't know how to write anymore and I don't have words to explain these days. It's been a long time I didn't  find my everyday. I have been working too much for a month and I can say it too much only for something that I do not enjoy retirely.  I  didn't find the excitement doing this work. I don't update my blog with a new post because there is no reason to write things when I myself feel not inspired at all. This month is running far from what I have planned before. I was perfectly messed up.  Here's the mess, I started to take a responsibility of a charity project, something I haven't done in my entire life. It's really hard to work with uninspiring people. This project requires every member's cooperation. At least try to cooperate with me especially when it comes to doing a report or proposal. Don't expect me to do all the work. The days were fairly, socially exhausting.  As well as physical.  I was faintly distra

My silence means I am tired of fighting and now there is nothing left to fight for. My silence means I'm tired of explaining my feeling. Now, I don't have energy to explain them anymore.  I have adapted to the changes in my life and don't want to complain. I am on a self healing process and I am trying to forget everything. i'm just trying to move on gracefully with all my dignity from  unnecessary drama.  I act like I don't care. Like nothing can hurt me. I put up a big wall of toughness and pretend that everything is fine. I don't need somebody's "affection" but in reality i think I'm just too scared. Scared not being good enough, scared of getting hurt, scared to let somebody in. Aku memilih untuk mendiamkan diri and let it go but when I've reached my limit, I don't even care anymore. I like to be silence and prefer to be alone.  Sometimes silence can hold more meaning than words. I'm still learning the art of not replyi

It's a difficult times for me these days. I think I probably can get through it. But I will make it through and grow into a better person. At the beginning it felt like this would be death. If i had free time, I prefer to sleep rather than dating or even have a nice tea talk with my friends. I know what should i do in this kind of situation.... Forget, and move on. When you let it go, you create space for something better. You can't change what has already happened. Don't waste your time thinking about it. I was the one trying to make things work  even not everything went smoothly lately.  Just accepted what happen and continue living. Within 10 years, your life is gonna be awesome. Susah sekarang, Nanti senang la ;) 

“KINDNESS IS FREE TO GIVE, BUT PRICELESS TO RECEIVE.” Satu benda yang aku belajar dari kehidupan, kebaikan yang kita buat untuk orang lain, belum tentu dibalas dengan kebaikan dari orang tersebut. Kebaikan itu mungkin datang dari orang yang kita tak kenal dan mungkin dari seseorang yang pernah kita beranggapan buruk. Ingat tujuan utama kita adalah akhirat bukan dunia.  Teruskan berbuat baik, kita tidak tahu kebaikan mana yang diterima oleh Allah SWT. Kita tidak tahu kebaikan mana yang dapat menyentuh hati orang lain. Pandangan orang berbeza-beza. Jika kita punya niat yang baik, Allah akan selalu mempermudahkan segala urusan kita. Tak ada satu kebaikan yang sia-sia.  Setiap kebaikan yang kita buat memberi impak yang positif untuk diri sendiri. If you can't afford to do the great things, just do the small things in a great way.  Just be an example, show kindness to bad people. Forgive people who don't deserve it. Your actions always reflect who you are. I've been s